I looked up the word “mother” in the dictionary. Webster and I usually get along well, but he failed me on this one. The definition was so technical, completely lacking any sort of feeling or ardor the word demands.
Mothers aren’t the type you can fit in the dictionary box.
Today, my mother completes another orbit around our blazing star. We were suppose to be spending the day hiking the boulders of Wichita, but instead, I’m tucked in my top bunk, throat wrapped, some sort of herbal tea balanced beside me - sick. And where is Mom? She’s here - the rest of the family having left early this morning to hike and enjoy what is more than likely to be the last gorgeous day of fall.
What a way to spend her birthday! And I can lay here and easily feel terrible about spoiling her special day…but she’s not complaining.
“I get to spend an entire day with my daughter.”
And I wonder what kind of love this is…
In our humanity, love is frequently misunderstood, which would only make sense, for we misunderstand God, and He is love. Our thoughts of love are controlling, self-seeking, self-gratifying - selfish. This "love" only leads us to misery, for no freedom is found there.
But as God gains access to our hearts, He begins to change the way we think about love. This is where love and pain beat from the same heart. This is when love breaks free from humanity's box and shows us how much it risks, how much it gives, how much it pours of itself with no hope of being filled, yet knowing it can never run dry. It's wild and crazy, this God-love is.
As Mom dries my legs and feet after an intense round of limb contrast this morning, I’m once again amazed…
I’m so undeserving, and yet He loves anyways.
The stooping figure in front of me - the many pains she’s endured for me, the incredible amount of sacrifice…she’s painting a picture of God’s love for me. It's communion of a deeper sort. How to express gratitude for a God and a mother like that?
Words fall short.
Maybe Webster and I can empathize after all.
Happy Birthday, Mami!
photo credit - alonnasmith